so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
