Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You dont lie about slip and slides
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
