At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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