Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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