Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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