were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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