I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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