it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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