i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
