in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
