I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
