your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
