If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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