Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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