whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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