I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
