I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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