drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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