The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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