Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I supernannyed him into submission
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
