How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
