you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
