this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
