Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just gargled with NyQuil
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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