Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
