Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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