we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
