This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
