We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
