They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
