The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
