if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
