3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Randomize
