It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
