I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
