I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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