I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
