Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
