I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
