Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
