his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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