so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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