What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
