ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
