We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
