i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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