i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
