she was so not down for the gang bang
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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