Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
