Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You're like the curious george of whores
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
