Having a random hookup so left but love u
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
