I just cut my nipple shaving
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
