ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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