Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
