so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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