No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
